1. |
prelude
01:04
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i have spent two years in my room.
you have spent the last two years living;
adjusting;
becoming the adult that youve wanted to be for so long.
you are not a stupid kid anymore.
you do not make mistakes that could put you in an unfavorable position later in life. you feel stable and secure in your choices.
you are in love.
i have decayed - like a mayan temple, ancient and crumbling.
you occupy every one of my thoughts.
i cannot tell whether i want you to hate me or fall for me again.
i want to relive every stupid little thing we did.
i don't care where it lands me.
i don't care about adulthood.
i don't care about making mistakes.
i am not stable.
i am not secure.
i am not adjusted.
i need to move on.
i need help.
i need support.
i need medication.
i need friends who care about me.
i need everything. i need nothing.
i need you to tell me when you're going to give up being the bigger person.
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2. |
two weeks
04:03
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[verse 1]
oh, they got so skeptical
the first time that i said
we’d be lying in the same bed
by the time the year would end
told-ya-so’s are
bouncing in my mind
the social mastermind
can’t admit what she can’t find
[chorus]
so i went and told all my friends
that you’d be there till the end
then you went and you damned it all
now who's gonna catch me when i fall
they were just talking ‘bout you last night
but it’s been two weeks and i
can’t for the life of me decide
if i should see you when i close my eyes
[verse 2]
you had them en-
raptured from the start
oh, you played the perfect part
what mattered was my heart
(oh shit)
[chorus]
so i went and told all my friends
that you’d be there till the end
should’ve known you’d shoot it dead
this is for every text you’ve never read
they were just talking ‘bout us last night
but it’s been two weeks and i
can’t for the life of me decide
if i should see you when i close my eyes
[bridge]
voices in my head they say
don’t worry it’ll be ok
voices in my head insist
don't let her get away with this
look up to them with glassy eyes
look back down and
DOWN THE WHOLE BOTTLE TONIGHT
[chorus]
so i went and told all my friends
that my wits were at their ends
i’m the one who fucked it up, but
im still disappointing when i cut
and “us” was “you and i”
oh, i can’t help but decide
that i can only cry
in the clarity of stroking shit out to a lie
i'm all of this broken mess
i'm a demon in a dress
i'm everything you love to hate
done up to scorn you on a stage
oh and this is all for you
both our hearts that ended bruised
i hope it finds you every time
you have the nerve to close your eyes
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3. |
seance
04:32
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[verse 1]
my heart's an empty hole
since you lost your self control
and jumped off of that bridge
the bay as black as pitch
my legs are crossed,
the planchet is locked
between the yes and the no
and i'm just far too afraid to let go
[chorus]
the flames rise to the ceiling
i can't help the feeling
there's somebody else in the room
am i sure it's you?
you long to be
belong to me
you're scaring me
you're scaring me
[verse 2]
a chill from the open window
snuffed out the candles' glow
a chill unexpected, but as i reflected
i swore that the windows were closed
[chorus]
the flames rise to the ceiling
i can't help the feeling
there's somebody else in the room
but am i sure it's you?
you long to be
belong to me
you're scaring me
you're scaring me
[bridge]
this isnt love
isnt love, isnt love
if god gave you back your soul
how did you get so cold?
[chorus]
the flames consume the room
i bid a tearful adieu
i hold your lifeless, broken body
and scream, "oh, why, you wrathful god?"
you belong to me
down to skin and teeth
you're scaring me
you're scaring me
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4. |
fuzzy, blurry
03:06
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[verse 1]
you are blurred at the lines
in the glow of the streetlights
peripheral and indistinct
i'm not trusting my eyes
but i hope that tonight
i can pull you back from the brink
were you more than a ghost?
just a whisper of smoke-
all fuzzy and glowing and warm
and did i make the most
of the rules that i broke
when i dared to behold your form?
[chorus]
maybe it's for the best
that i've forgotten your face
because you're prettiest to me when you're looking away
is whoever you are
the end of the world
my fuzzy and blurry peripheral girl
[outro]
what can i say
to keep you running away?
the dream would break
if i saw your face
what can i say
to keep you running away?
the dream would break
if i saw your face
what can i say
just keep on running away
don't break my comfortable ignorance
don't wanna perceive you,
cause if i believed you
id have to admit that i couldnt please you
i'd rather forget
all the hard-lined missteps
and keep the fuzzy, fading good instead
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5. |
nothing (at all)
04:08
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[verse 1]
a girl is a loaded gun
ready to fire, her wires undone
jumping from a burning bridge
you love the sinner but you hate the sin
[chorus]
give me one good
god damn reason why
you and i are standing
vacant in the envy of the sky
oh, tonight
[verse 2]
trudging through your platitudes
don't lecture me about attitude
cause all i want is all you never need
[chorus]
give me one good
god damn reason why
you and i are standing
vacant in the envy of the sky
oh, tonight
give me all your heart and all your soul
give me just one concrete goal
i've wanna know, i need to know
what has made me hate you so
[bridge]
i feel nothing at all (repeat)
i feel nothing at all,
AND YOU ARE NOTHING AT ALL!
[chorus]
so bring your eyes up to mine
buckle your knees and decide
it's just a matter of time
before youre nothing but mine
girl, i'll see you in hell
demons are wishing you well
i'll be the ghost in your walls
and feel nothing at all
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6. |
manhattan burns
02:23
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[verse 1]
i'd been breaking down a while
love he thoughtlessly defiled
loved her bed, raised her child
did it with a charming smile
i did what i had to do,
but now my world's thrown askew
love, i'll make it up to you
[chorus]
gave it all i could
oh, oh,
gave it all i could
oh, oh
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7. |
dante's typhoon
05:20
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[verse 1]
please, believe me, i'm not a murderer
what i did was wrong!
but he'd been enamored with another
for far too long,
[pre-chorus]
as the world burns we sing
that love is such a hateful thing
so if nobody sees you fall then
did you ever stand at all?
[chorus]
(sanguis, osse!)
black as the night-
no one is left,
and, baby, no one is right!
blood and bone
your darkest hour alone
[verse 2]
please believe us, you're not in hell
you've gone down much too far
so darling, leave your heart on the shelf
and bid an au revoir
[chorus]
(sanguis, osse!)
black as the night-
no one is left,
and, baby, no one is right!
blood and bone
your darkest hour alone
[post-chorus]
I DONT WANNA DIE,
(PLEASE DONT LET ME DIE)
I DONT WANNA DIE
(PLEASE DONT LET ME DIE)
I DONT WANT TO
PLEASE DONT LET ME DIE
I DONT WANT TO DIE
[bridge]
we are one
we are all
all for none
and one to fall
crashing waves
rising tide
watery graves
A THOUSAND EYES
WORK YOUR PLOWS
HIDE YOUR FLOCK
TAKE YOUR VOWS
AND BREAK YOUR LOCKS
WE'RE IN HELL
OR SO IT SEEMS
BUT WHO CAN TELL
THE SKY FROM THE SEA
[chorus]
sanguis, osse-
ran out of fight
if no one is left
then how is anyone right?
blood and bone
another night alone
[outro]
EVERY NIGHT ALOOOONE
SANGUIS, OSSE
TOO LATE TO ATONE
SANGUIS, OSSE
YOU'LL SINK LIKE A STONE
SANGUIS, OSSE
WE'LL GO FOR A RIDE
SANGUIS, OSSE
AS BRIGHT AS THE TIDE
AUUUUUUGH
WE'LL SEE YOU IN HELL
SANGUIS, OSSE
THE TOLL OF THE BELL
SANGUIS, OSSE
WE'LL TAKE YOU AWAY
(AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
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8. |
sanguine tide
11:03
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[verse 1]
the burden of blood
had continued to grow
but was nothing compared
to the horrors below!
[pre-chorus]
what i know
what i've seen
behind the silver screen
what terrible knowledge i glean
the lie of the sea
my sanity sweet
reality
bends in front of me
[chorus]
i never could say
i was promised the truth
when it all bled away
by the glow of the moon
i've wasted my chance
in the roar of the waves
i won't be saved
let the sanguine tide erase
[verse]
i did not kill my husband
i did not watch him drown
i didn't throw him from the deck
seven miles down
if you think i'm wrong,
then they're in your mind
i've seen it happen
a million times
[pre-chorus]
at the end of the world
your mind will unweave
in tangles and furls
of roiling sea
[chorus]
i never could say
i was promised the truth
when it all bled away
by the glow of the moon
i've wasted my chance
in the roar of the waves
i won't be saved
let the sanguine tide erase
[bridge]
fall
fall through the dark
far from the stars
till death will do you part
fell
broken the seal
defiantly real
the screams hereto reveal:
you
left him alone
he sank like a stone
twisting and writhing and bent from his bones
and you
shattered our chains
with his shattered remains
oh lord, what a shame
[verse 1a]
sanguis, osse, pestis, caro
sanguis, osse, pestis, caro
you fell to our tormented city
your mistake, but weve no use for pity
your black heart betrays your claims
of virtue, passion, love, and grace
[chorus 1a]
your world is nothing
but a drop in the sea
nothing to live for,
and nothing to be!
youve gazed to the depths
and youve sunk through the maw!
and sanity's an effigy,
filled up with straw!
sanguis, osse
sheep in the flock
sanguis, osse
thrashed on the rocks
sanguis, osse
the angel of death
sanguis, osse
with brine on its breath
[verse 1b]
i never thought i'd know
what lies beneath the soot,
the ash, the black waves crash
[chorus b]
crash over me,
all of my memories in their gaze
singing my dirge,
i walk through this purge in a haze
[verse 2b]
there are two bodies here
one stays, one disappears
and i'm not sure which one is mine
was i ever this thin?
was there this scorn within
the sunken mariana of my eyes
[chorus b]
did i fall through the veil?
did my destiny derail
did the glow of the moon
send me here to my doom
stare through the mirror,
ever getting clearer,
i see that the monster they're rearing is me
[verse 3b]
woke up again today
pushed fog of night away
i shivered at the things i dreamed
i saw an awful flood
the world drenched in blood
prayed for tonight a restful sleep
i lay back down again
let fog of night back in
but soon was shaken from my peace
i thought back to his face
his warm and full embrace
a man whom i had never ever seen
there is a beast in me
she longs to shatter free
from chains cemented by the brine
this girl knew the truth
the awful answers to
the man who permeates my mind
a rumbling begins
familiar, and yet
my brain is grasping at the straws
i've somehow seen before
this sight the world abhors
across the jagged cliffs i crawl
[chorus b]
oh, but the waves, they blot out the sun
just as in every dream of the torturous flood
the maw of the beast is consuming the sky
it only laughs when i question it why
why,
why,
why?
[chorus]
i never could say
i was promised the truth
when it all bled away
by the glow of the moon
i've wasted my chance
in the roar of the waves
i won't be saved
let the sanguine tide erase
over and over and over and over,
and over and over and over and over,
and over and over and over and over,
and over and over and over and over
again, and again, and again
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9. |
||||
[verse 1]
maybe you're a ghost
a specter, a phantom
of together and alone
maybe we were both
maybe you're a ghost
maybe i was wrong
maybe i was stupid but
i loved you all the same
i love to be ashamed
you were always gonna be okay
[chorus]
who am i to interfere
who am i to interfere
oh, i don't belong here
[verse 2]
maybe if i break
i shatter like i'm porcelain;
i can slip out of my cage
oh, and if i'm right
and one good night can fix it all
i'll be with you tonight
please let me apologize
[chorus]
we could've tried so much harder
whiskey sons and cocktail daughters
we could've been half as clean as you
[bridge]
don't you wish that i was gone?
tell me all that i've done wrong
i get off on knowing everything
you hate about me
tell me all i should regret
make a scene they won't forget
you know i'll always be
the death of the party
[verse 3]
blossom, how you wilt the roses
stuck in rigor mortis poses
teach me how you keep them living
[chorus]
we could've tried so much harder
i could've tried so much harder
i could've been half as clean as you
dance your gavotte
i'll give you everything i've got
if you tell me that i'm everything you'll never ever want
i am vain and i am bored
whether i'm famous or ignored
you can tell them you don't love me anymore
i'm not scared of crowded rooms
i'm not afraid of restless tombs
but darling, i am terrified of you
[outro]
will you come to my show
i guess i'll ask but i don't know
will you come to my show
i asked my mom and she said no
if it was so damn stupid
why'd we even fucking do it?
you don't know, you're not sure
do i even want you anymore
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10. |
||||
i never got you to give up being the bigger person.
i got nothing.
i gave up everything.
i have driven away every friend who cares about me.
i refuse medication.
i have lost my supports, as if i were a crumbling bridge flinging homebound workers into a raging river.
but i do not need help.
i haven't moved on, but i am no longer insecure.
i am stable.
i feel well-adjusted.
i have landed myself right where i want to be.
this is the adult that i am.
i relive every stupid thing we did every night, as i ease myself to sleep.
i would be content with your hatred or your love.
you fill every one of my thoughts with warm, fuzzy, beautiful, blissful ignorance.
this is what i tell myself.
i am that same temple, but restored. the cracks sealed away under a vague veneer of beauty.
keeping up appearances.
you are still in love, but not with me. that's ok.
you will go on with your security and your stability, being the adult that i couldn't.
that's alright.
you are adjusting.
living.
and i will spend the next two years in my room.
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callie flemming Tallahassee, Florida
skeleton playing piano
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